12 Secrets of Happiness
In his The World Book of Happiness Leo Bormans shares his tips on being happy with us. The author summed up the researches of 100 world experts on happiness!
What exactly is happiness and what can beget it? Generally it is determined as the condition of being content, different people may have their own ideas of what happiness is. It is usually believed of as having a lot of money, power, and fame. But can all these things really make people happy? Actually, happiness is more than what most people think it is. It can be inconceivable and elusive, pursued by many, but not reached by all. For most of us, women, the condition what they can call happiness is achieved when we lose weight, buy desirable Louboutins or Hermes Birkin, getting acquainted with a handsome smart guy, or giving birth to a child. Still, nowadays females face many negative things as depression, overwork, split and what not. How to stay happy, or calm at least? How to manage maintaining all those things we value? Perhaps, a new book of Leo Bormans would help us to find answers to our questions. In The World Book Of Happiness the author uses evidence-based material that aims to reveal the secrets of happy people and has drawn together the research and discoveries of the world’s leading experts on the psychology of happiness.
Accept what you possess
Research shows that happy people have unpretentious levels of expectation and wishes — they want what they can get, but less happy people never seem to get what they want. They also are aware of the ways to avoid frustrations and how to generate pleasant surprises. This is because they long for sober goals and are happy with their lot. As Dr Jose de Jesus Garcia Vega, of the University of Monterrey, Mexico, bears out, we must acknowledge things as they are. He said:
We spend a lot of time complaining about the things that happen to us, but this is a waste of time and effort. To be happy, we need to enjoy what we have.”
Enjoy your job
Happy people do what they enjoy and enjoy what they do, and do it not for the money or glory. There’s no point being hold up in a job you can’t stand, surrounded by colleagues you don’t like just because the salary is good. It is fact that very often people forget that they are allowed to be happy at work, too. More and more men and women spend the best years of their lives trying to earn, sacrificing their health and family in the process, says Dr Garcia Vega. Later, they spend the same money they made working trying to recover their lost health and estranged family.
Live for today
Do not get stuck in the past, in things you failed or somehow went wrong. Also, don’t dream about an unrealistic future that doesn’t exist or worry about what hasn’t happened yet. People who are happy live for the now; they have positive thinking. That’s right as if you feel unhappy today, what urges you think tomorrow will be different?
Vote for Happiness
Don’t be scared of re-evaluating your goals. Your life is your life your life, it’s a story that you can edit and examine as you go along. This flexible approach requires positive thinking and an open mind, you need to actively choose to be happy.
Dr Garcia Vega says:
You always have the freedom to choose the manner in which you wish to approach any given situation.”
This theory is supported by Ingrida Geciene of Vilnius University, Lithuania, who investigated the happiness of people living in 31 European countries. She found that voluntarists – people who feel they have free choice and complete control over their life, were happier than fatalists- people who think little can be changed by personal intervention. So, who are you?
We are happy because we are surronded by people we love: our boyfriends, spouses, kids, parents, friends. Keep in mind that just as other people can make us happy, we are all ‘other people’ to someone else. And cherish people who are important to you. Polls also shows that people in mariage are happier than single people.
If you want to be happier, develop an outgoing, social personality, accept that drinks invitation, join the walking club, book group or dance club. Build a rich social life, says Eunkook M. Suh, a psychology professor at Yonsei University in Seoul, not as a responsibility, but because it is rewarding, meaningful and fun. Active, busy, social people are the healthiest and happiest in society.
Get rid of envy
Ambition is healthy and makes people happy, explains Claudia Senik, a professor at the University of Paris-Sorbonne, but envy makes them unhappy. Yet comparisons with others can destroy the benefits of ambition we have and are only useful if you learn something from them. Focus on your goals and dreams so you can enjoy your ambition and achievements.
Don’t worry about what others think about you and just be yourself. Happy people are spontaneous, natural and real; they say what they think and feel, and aren’t concerned what others think of them. Being oneself makes one feel free and authentic.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Happy people don’t worry and they recognise that 90 per cent of worries never come true.
Happy people have good time-management; they plan and organize. You can only get what you want or desire if you know what it is you want or desire in the first place. So while those relaxed friends might seem happy, they’re actually just drifting along.
High-temperature emotions and bad feelings produce psychological distress and physical discomfort. But happy people’s motto is: get rid of it, or it will get rid of you. So, work at developing optimistic thinking; happy people always look on the bright side. Successful people know to focus on achieving their goals, not losing, explains Miriam Akhtar, one of the first positive psychologists in the UK. Be optimistic! Optimism is the mind’s natural self-defence mechanism against depression.
Happiness can be learned, but finding meaning and a purpose in life is what leads to it, not the other way around. The happiest people value and realise that being happy adds years to their life, and life to their years.
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